Can optimism be learned?

Can Optimism Be Learned?

Is optimism an innate trait, a gift of fate granted to some and denied to others? Are we condemned to remain stuck in pessimism if we have always seen the world in darker colours? Or perhaps the way we interpret reality is not a verdict, but a process - something that can be learned, step by step?

Optimism as a way of seeing, not a personality trait

In everyday understanding, an optimist is someone who is always smiling, full of energy and resilient in the face of adversity. Yet this image can be misleading. Optimism is not about ignoring pain or forcing oneself to think positively. It is not a denial of suffering, but a way of giving meaning to what happens. It is less a personality trait and more an inner stance - the way we explain the world and our own experiences to ourselves.

Cognitive psychology shows that we differ in our explanatory styles. Some people tend to see failures as permanent, pervasive and personal. Others are able to view them as temporary, limited and understandable. This latter way of thinking is often referred to as optimism - and, importantly, it does not have to be innate.

Optimism and denial

It is important to distinguish between optimism and denial. Optimism does not mean telling ourselves that “everything will be fine” when it is not. Rather, it involves a willingness to acknowledge difficulty without identifying it with the whole truth about ourselves or the world. It is the capacity to see more than one possible outcome - even when the present moment is hard.

Donald Winnicott wrote that the capacity for hope and trust in the world grows out of a “good enough” relational experience. Hope does not arise from perfect conditions, but from the sense that someone was present when the world did not work as it should. Optimism often grows from this very place: from the experience that difficulty does not have to mean the end. In a similar spirit, Hans Rosling, in his book Factfulness (written together with his children), shows how far our intuitive beliefs about the world diverge from the data. We tend to perceive reality as worse, more dangerous and less stable than it actually is - not because the world has no problems, but because the human mind remembers threats more easily than progress.

Can it be learned?

Learning optimism is not about changing one’s personality, but about gradually broadening one’s perspective. It is a process of carefully observing one’s thoughts, narratives and automatic interpretations. Of noticing when the inner voice says “always”, “never”, “it will definitely fail” - and beginning to question it.

Research on neuroplasticity shows that the brain changes in response to experience. New ways of thinking, repeated in safe conditions, gradually become more accessible. Optimism does not emerge suddenly - rather, it grows out of small shifts: recognising one’s own resources, noticing moments when something did work out after all, allowing oneself uncertainty without immediate catastrophising.

Realistic optimism — perspective, not illusion

Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, proposed the concept of realistic optimism, understood not as a naïve belief in happy endings, but as a particular way of interpreting experience. In his view, optimism is primarily about how we explain failures and difficulties to ourselves: whether we see them as permanent and all-encompassing, or as limited in time and scope.

Realistic optimism does not deny facts or ignore pain. It assumes that difficulties are part of life, but do not have to define our entire future or identity. It is an attitude that allows us to acknowledge loss, disappointment or mistakes, without turning them into final proof of our own helplessness.

In this sense, realistic optimism is closely linked to emotional maturity. It allows us to see the world in its complexity - with room for suffering, but also for change. It does not promise that “everything will be fine”, but leaves space for the question: what else might be possible?

Such optimism can be quiet and uncertain. It may coexist with anxiety, sadness or exhaustion. It does not require enthusiasm or a constant sense of meaning. Rather, it is an acceptance that although we do not have full control over events, we do have influence over the meaning we give them. And it is precisely this way of meaning-making, as research shows, that can, over time, have a real impact on our wellbeing, psychological resilience and ability to cope with adversity.

You can hear more about this in a conversation between journalist Małgosia Piontke-Kwiatkowska and Stach Borawski - a psychologist and academic lecturer teaching positive psychology.

We also recommend other podcasts from the „Uwaga Równowaga” series. In each episode, we explore an important topic through conversations with experts in a given field. It is an opportunity to discover new perspectives and gain valuable insights in an accessible form. All our content aligns with our mission of rebuilding and maintaining effective balance. If you would like to learn more about the EAP program, please contact us.